Khao Son Road Syndrome

Today, I am in Bangkok. Partially because I wanted to just chill out for a while, partially because I wanted to do some shopping, partially because I wanted to find my non-english-speaking rastafarian friend from last time, but mostly because I didn't want to take two flights to get me back to Singapore. So I took an overnight train (really quite fun) and will be flying out on Tuesday (since I waited too long to book a flight for Monday and now they're all sold out).

Anyways, I started thinking more about Khao Son Road and the whole backpacker scene that goes on here. Being by myself this time, I've had an entire day to pretty much people watch and think. I wondered to myself what these people were like back home, wherever that may be. Do they have jobs? Do they have families? Do they wear suits and ties to work, or do they dress like hippies all the time? I have no doubt in my mind that many of them do, in fact, dress like hippies every other day of their lives, well, because they are hippies. But for many of them I don't imagine that.

So why do all these people travel? I sincerely hope that they don't just spend their days bumming from Boeng Kak to Vang Vieng to Hat Rin to Khao Son and back. But if they do, is there really anything wrong with that? I suppose there isn't. The reason why I travel is to learn about different people and different places, but I'm realizing that it's not quite as easy as it sounds. If I can't speak to the people that live in Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam, etc, because of our language barrier, how am I supposed to learn much from them? It just can't be done. At least not very efficiently.

So you take what you can get with traveling. But I digress. I posted this as a rant and rave on Khao Son Road, thus I continue forward with my rant.

Khao Son Road is nothing but a circus. Just a big goddamn circus where everybody wears fisherman pants and has dreads and 5 bracelets on one wrist and drinks buckets of booze every night and where even the fellas walk around with those oversized purses. Or pouches. Whatever.

But here's the thing: I'm doing it too. Guess what I'm wearing right now? Yep, fisherman pants. And a BeerLao shirt. And I bought an oversized purse today at the market. See!!! I'm getting sucked into the trap!! It's like a quicksand circus that just pulls you in. To illustrate my point I'll post the text of a t-shirt I saw today whilst bumming around Khao Son Road. It's called "Khao Son Road Syndrome:"

1. I shall wear as big a backpack as possible to bare proud witness of my creed. Check. My backpack isn't so much a "backpack" as it is an oversized pouch, but is about fifty times bigger than the purse I bought today. It's really just one bottomless pit for me to stuff things in since there's not much for pockets and compartments.
   
2. I shall not leave Khao Son Road without a Lonely Planet guide. Check. I didn't buy one here, but I did bring my "Laos, Cambodia, Vietnam, and the Greater Mekong" book along.
   
3. I shall wear the traditional international backpacker's uniform and don at least one piece of local clothing (e.g. conical hat in Vietnam, a krama in Cambodia etc) to show my oneness with Asian people. Check and check. Thai fisherman pants, remember? And the purse? (Which is really more for the foreigners than the locals, but everybody has one.) I've also got a BeerLao shirt on and a krama up in my room, though those aren't from Thailand.
   
4. I shall eat banana pancakes and phat thai on a regular basis, for it is quintessential Asian food. Check. Banana pancakes + BeerLao, OR a pancake with a scoop of ice cream, is the best breakfast ever. And what did I eat for lunch today? Phat Thai from a street vendor. Oh yea, and mangoes with sticky rice for dinner.
   
5. I shall stay in the cheapest guest house. More money for beer. Check. This is true regardless of where I go. The room I'm staying in for the next two nights isn't much larger than the bed thats inside, has one window that opens to the hallway, and a couple of crickets. It costs 240 Baht, or about $8 a night. THAT is actually quite expensive. But not for Thailand.
   
6. I shall drink the local beer, for I shall always endeavor to be in tune with local culture and because it is cheapest. Check! So far Angkor has been my favorite. BeerLao is pretty good too, especially the dark. As for Thai beer, however, Chang doesn't quite live up to the standards, so I think for my breakfast tomorrow I'll go with Singha.
   
7. I shall make pilgrimage to a Full Moon party on Hat Rin at least once in my life. Check. Well, half-check. Does it count if I made the pilgrimage but the party was postponed? Even so, I'll come to a FMP sooner or later. Even if I'll be the crazy, creepy 40 year old woman, I'm going to a FMP eventually.
   
8. I shall bargain without mercy and hone my skill to a sharp edge, so that I can proudly proclaim our sacred motto "I got it for less than the locals." Check? Still working on this one, but I think the more I smile and bat my eyes the more luck I have.
   
9. I shall not leave Khao Son Road without having my hair colored, dreadlocked, corn-rolled, or shaved off. Half-check? I'm not dying my hair here, most definitely not corn-rolling or shaving it, and the dreads will have to wait until Peace Corps or for my year-long travel adventure, if ever. But I did get a henna tattoo, which for me, counts enough.

So there you have it. I suppose this means I have been diagnosed with Khao Son Road syndrome. Please, somebody get me out of here soon, because it can only get worse.

Oh right, but there's also the rave part of this that I forgot about. Khao Son Road is soooooo much fun!! You can just walk down the street and meet all sorts of crazy people, for example, the man that gave me a massage today. He did a really good job, and kept telling me I needed to release my chakras, then he told me he was going to clear my sinuses or something so I had to lean my head back and open my mouth. Then he blew in my nose. In my nose!!!! I was pretty freaked out so my reaction was to move his face away from my nose, and in the process I rubbed my recently-hennaed wrist onto my nose and got it all black. But that's beside the point.

Okay, time to Skype, so more on this later. Or just ask.